how it all started

Well what a lot I have to catch up on!!

Carl and Ness come over for a week, it was a very very tough week with many a fall out between me and Ness - all of which I find insignificant and dont really feel a need to talk about.

On the other hand, it was hard in the sense that all I wanted to do was touch Carl at every opportunity.......we didnt get many but still managed to have 3 quickys ........they were awesome though lol. We got to be in each others company though which was lovely and I also got to spend some time with his daughter (my god daughter) Which was also really nice.

Fast forward 2 weeks.........me and Sian went on a girly weekend to scotland, done visiting family and then on sunday ............

"do you know what platform your train pulls into?"

"no........I think it terminates in waverly aswell?"

"its alright, im waiting at the gates so when you walk through ill be waiting .... see you in 10!"

I had a smile from ear to ear as soon as I seen him, we had a quick kiss and cuddle as we had the company of Sian! We walked up to one of the streets behind princess street and found a nice little bar to go for some lunch.

I had a smile from ear to ear as we sat across the table from each other eating our lunch. I couldnt stop staring at him.....he really is so sexy, in every way possible! We went to an office picked up our apartment keys and then caught a taxi to the Apartment which was on the Royal Mile. When we got there it was truly gorgeous! Massive bed in the top floor flat over looking The Royal mile. right in between St Giles Cathedral and the other church. Sian lay down on her bed for a sleep and Carl and I made our way to the bedroom.

I was looking out of the window from the bedroom when he came over and started to nibble my neck, gently pressing himself against me to feel his very big hard cock straining against his jeans. I couldnt hold back for long and before long we were having the most passionate sex i have ever had in my life. We couldnt get enough of each other and all too soon 2 hours had past and we knew we had to get ready to go out.

Sian was meeting an old friend so we all showered and got ready and made our way down the Royal mile to a very nice wine bar where we met Jay. We all had a drink together before Carl and I made our own way.

We went to a lovely bar and enjoyed a few drinks, shared some food and relished in each others company. We made our way back to the apartment where he bent me over the old spiral staircase which led to the other apartments before taking me hard and fast from behind. There was a huge risk of being caught.....which just seemed to add to the exitement! We then made our way back to the bedroom where we continued to have some awesome sex.......in every way possible. I couldnt stop looking at him and touching him, wanting to remeber every single thing about him. Before long i fell asleep wrapped in his arms. The next thing i knew Sian and Jay were back. They had had a good night and were off to continue there evening.

Yesterday when i got in from work i was dealt the devestating blow that one of my friends had died base jumping in norway. Its truly heartbreaking. I went on to his facebook page to leave him a msg. I know, silly really but i just wanted to tell him i was thinking of him and ill miss him. There were already loads of ill miss you msgs on there and sat at the computer in tears reading them. It does make you wonder though.........why the good guys??

I didnt actually get up to much last night though, mainly thinking about Carl ........Its only 14 sleeps now and i cant wait. The thing i know which will get to me most is him "being" with Ness. I have already specifically asked him to either not have sex with her in my house or just do it quietly so i cant hear, and not tell me about it It was a deal we made when i went to see him in the summer, and which i stuck to so he best do the same.

It is hard though, as i get told Carls side of the story from him and how he wants to be with me, and that we will one day be married. We have also been looking at houses and stuff to buy together as soon as i leave neil. Then i get ness on the phone to me talking about wanting to try for another baby and stuff I know she is only saying it and that things are really rocky with Carl - not only cos he tells me and i believe him 101% that he is honest and truthful with me. But she also got sent home from Canada early because of their problems, and then last night a mutual friend told me he had heard rumours that they were splitting up.

No one knows about me and carl other than Sian and you guys. I will play this one as close to my chest as i can, because if we do finally make a go of things its going to be hard anyway. what with the fact we are friends as a couple.........carl and neil used to be very close and me and ness used to be extremly close haha. We also know each others family and have alot of friends in common not only through the time we have known each other but as individuals as well (quiet common in the amry world especially since neil, ness and carl all wear the same cap badge)

why do i live such a confused life??

..........Hey how are you??

Im not too good really babe, Ness is away and im struggling big time with the baba. Hows you?

Im alright, kinda you know how it goes lol.

I assume this is to do with Neil? right?

Got it in one, in thredders.......and to be honest dont think we will be together much longer .

Thats a shame babe, i cant imagine you two not being together, but having gone through a divorce if its what you really feel its best you need to be brave.

I know, I just dont know what to do for the best

You know your an amazing person and totally gorgeous so you would have no bother trying to find someone new

ha thanks for the compliment (blush) lol

Na i really really mean it.........i know i would if i was single!

ahh thanks babe, suppose it makes me feel a wee bit better lol

Is Bill still hanging about?? If he is you know that wont make things any easier for you......or maybe it will lol

Yeah he is still about, comms pretty much every day n stuff.....but goin no where if you know what i mean

If you know its goin no where, why bother with the comms?

I dunno, everytime i try to stop i end up caving in and replying to a text he has sent or answering the phone when he tries to call

Man up Tash Tash lol

I know......look i best go, im flying home in a few hours and still havent packed my case!

Ok babe, take care.....talk to you soon?

Yeah talk to you soon....................oh n by the way just for the record, i think your gorgeous aswell lol.

really??

Yes really, lol dont try to get me to tell you how much i want you lol

haha thanks, although i know your only saying it cos i said it to you first!

lol not at all, right really must go. Big kisses to you and the baby. x x x

bye and the same to you x x

And that was how it started!! I have always been friends with Carl - (if you have read my first posts you will know carl is the husband of ness, the girl who i had a thing with last year)

the next night i was online and we started chatting again, mainly how much we had always fancied each other etc, followed by a few mms.....nothing overly rude, just me in sexy undies and stuff....he seemed to like what he seen and returned the favour

Chat got more and more heated and resulted in us pleasuring ourselves via web cam/ video calling and the phone whilst the other watched/ joined in.

feelings soon got involved and i was washed away with how he made me feel. Soon it was arranged that the next time i was in uk which was in a few weeks me and the hubby would go visit him. Comms between me and Carl were pretty non stop with both neil and ness being away. We would spend literally hours chatting to each other one way or another and both run up huge phone bills!

Then it was arranged, on our way up the country we would stop at ness and carls house. Ness was still away though so it would just be carl and the baby.

As we pulled up his road, there he was outside waiting for us, as soon as i saw him my breath was taken a back, its one thing talking to each other when your hundreds of miles apart, but would he still feel the same about me now i was here in person?? I knew i really liked him more.

All to soon the lads were drinking, i said i would stay off the booze and take the baby to the babysitters later that night so we could go out. There was plenty of teasing as the day went on, but no touching. He pushed the door of the bathroom open when i was in the shower to catch a glimpse. When he was just out the shower i went up stairs and he dropped his towel revealing everything to me who just smiled and walked on. I really really liked what i saw

So we took the baby to the babysitters, just me and him. Tension building in the car as he reached over and touched my leg, electricity washed through me......so much so i had to tell him to stop! we dropped the baby off and as we made our way back i pulled in to a little track where we got out and walked away from the road a little, butterflys took hold of my tummy and i felt like a love sick teenager standing in the woods again.

He pulled me in and kissed me, he tasted so good and i never wanted it to stop. I could see from the bulge in his shorts, he also enjoyed "our first kiss" we walked back down and into the car and he said to me "well tashtash, that was amazing! I cant wait to have more of you" I reached over and touched his inner thigh before he told me to stop, he had to get rid of the bulge before we got home to neil.

We finished getting ready and went down town to enjoy a few drinks.
There was alot of sly touching and kissing when we could get away with it. At about 1am neil announced he had had enough, after being awake for 45 hours and travelling for 15 of those he was ready for bed. "you two stay out though, i dont want to spoil your night" So off neil went back to carls house and left us both out alone.

We enjoyed each others company, drinking, dancing, laughing and touching as much as we could get away with in a packed night club. Soon we decided to go somewhere a bit more quiet we walked a short distance before climbing a high wall and getting into a cricket club. we found a small area which was private behind some buildings where noone was able to see us. we started kissing and touching and before to long i was begging to feel him inside me.

he took me there and then and it was amazing, he has the biggest cock that has ever been deep inside me and i loved it. we where there in the outside having the most amazing sex for about an hour before he came deep and hard inside me just after he had made sure i was fully satisfied.

We knew the night had to end and walked up towards the taxi rank. Where for a short time we could pretend we were a couple. As we approached the house we could see it was in darkness. As we walked round the side of the house Carl pushed me hard against the wall and kissed me full and hard which left me gasping for breath.

As we stepped in the house we could hear neil snoring in bed upstairs, we went into the kitchen and poured ourselves another drink before going back to the sitting room and sitting on the sofa and having a chat, before long we were kissing and touching again and before long we were tangled together having more amazing sex. afterwards, all i wanted was to go back to bed with him and fall asleep in his arms. Unfortunatly with neil in bed upstairs i knew this couldnt happen.

over the next couple of days, kisses and touches happened as much as possible with a few near misses at being seen by neil. But i just wanted him so badly!

When it came to time to leave i really was devestated and felt my heart breaking comms were as much as possible and he told me he was also traumatised and he wanted me more than ever.

We have since discussed our great desire to be with each other and comms are still as much as possible. In a couple of weeks (15days) Carl, Ness and the baby are all coming to stay at ours for a week and i cant wait. Even if i cant have him in a physical way at all within that week, being close to him will be enough.

Im deeply madly in love with this man and truly believe he is my soul mate!

I know im married, but things there are very very rocky and carl is also on the verge of seperating from ness. We have discussed nothing will be rushed into though, so its all good. well as good as an extra marital affair can be especially when i have had "relations" with his wife and im god mother to his baby.

Really quite complicated now eh haha........The hard part when the come over though will also be trying to keep my hands off ness and hers away from me.

Real Jerry Springer case eh lol

TashTash x x x

Stressed.com doesnt even begin to describe how im feeling at the moment.

All the girls in my team went back to uk on a course last month and the Uni gave us heaps of coursework to do at home, this was die to the course which is usually tought over 12 weeks being delivered to us over 4 days! .............nightmare. Coursework was due to be posted tomorrow. Today we have been told we have a weeks extention, I could of done with that information yesterday before i sat with my head in the books til 2am then up for work at 5.45 am! AND to top it off im heading back to UK tonight and wont get into my parents til about midnight ........so its goin to be a long day!

Hubby is away again, kinda settled without him already though. Had a girly night out on friday for Sians birthday, one of my friends who i have known for about 4 years and so happens to be posted to the same area as me again spent the whole night telling sian how much she wanted me, and was devestated that I would sleep with Vee and not her. Haha Sian didnt know where to look .......Im used to Kerry being like this and saying these things though and im pretty sure she only says them cos she knows im not interested in her that way and would never make any advances like that on to her!
Sian did question me over it yesterday when we were out and about with work stuff and in the car alone together as she never thought Kerry was like that lol.

Comms with Bill have been fairly steady .........loads of texts this morning apprently he has some "proper filthy thoughts floating about his mind" for when he sees my next and "u may be surprised" .........how exiting lol!! Hubby is away for a couple of weeks, comes home for a week then he is away again .......this is when Bill is planning to come over. Just need to plan where were goin to hide out and how im going to wangle my leave ........put extra miles on the car etc without hubby noticing.

I think though if i spend a good few days with Bill it may do one of two things, make me realise how much i want to "be with him" or the total opposite.

Scotty is on constant send at the mo and to be honest its putting me off him big style!

One of my friends heard a rumour from a known gossip that i was apparently sleeping with 3 guys off one of the barracks............I dont know anyone that even works there never mind sleeping with anyone from up there!?! ........So i have to keep a super low profile for a while which includes not seeing any of my male friends even for a coffee while speculations about me are flying around. I have a high profile job within the garrison and any of these rumours are quite dangerous........Stick to married men, that should be a rule! far less complications and they then also feel a need to hide the fact!

got a new toy last week ......."rock chick" and all i can say on the matter is wow! will need new batteries soon i think as im making the most of neil being away and "getting to know" my new friend! The Rabbit and other friends have been feeling a little left out, and for me who prefers to use my hands rather than toys .......... the rock chick is being hammered!! and very positively the new favoured method in DIY.

Its also keeping me honest, well to a degree lol .........I have more rude pics in my phone from at least 5 different men all telling me how much they want me, and all i have to do is holla lol. Loves it!

Also on the Bill matter im clearly more loved up than normal as its his mug shot thats my background on my mobile...........soooo must change that before i go back to UK tonight, how would i explain that one to my mum?

Tash x

firstly id like to apologise for the time its been between blogs, must get back into the habit of writing!

well soooooooooo much yet so little has happened since my last blog so ill give a quick detail on whats goin on in my life.......

First of all i have a new job, still for the same company from our main office but a promotion and extra hours .........getting used to the longer days just about, but im sure it will be worth it when i get my wages this week!! ......very exiting!!

Bill..........well here we are a year down the line with this one and still mad about him! We went back to uk last month and i managed an afternoon with him, when i say afternoon it was 3 hours. Hubby went to watch a football match with his brother, cousins and dad. so i arranged for bill to meet me in town as bill was also visiting his family at the time and was only 20 mins away from where i was.
The day started with me, hubby and the lads going into town for a few pre match drinks - probably not a good idea, trying to keep up with them! They went off to the stadium to see the football and i met up with Bill.
I walked through the shopping centre on the mobile to him whilst he was trying to navigate me to where he was until i set eyes on him! My heart skipped a beat and my tummy flipped all in a split second........we then did a real quick power shop so it looked as if i had been shopping the whole time they were away. We then went and sat in the corner of a very quiet pub as close as we could and had a really good chat, about our lives, hopes and dreams. It really was lovely. We had previously discussed that in 4 years time when his youngest child turns 18 we would be prepared to leave his family home and the decision would then be down to me. Well he has now said that he doesnt think that he will be able to stay in the family home when he gets out the army - he has lived away for the past 5 years and would i be prepared to leave neil sooner rather than later for him!?!? I have told him this is a big decision to make and that i seriosly need to think about it and that he needs to really think about what he was saying aswell.
He is now away with the army for another 3 weeks and has been away since the day after our meeting, so he has plenty time to think. Comms have been pretty sparse and usually just a text message everyday or so, to let me know he misses me, loves me, thinkin about me etc.......usually attached with a photo or video of the explicit variety lol. He phoned me last week for the first time since he has been away to let me know how much he missed me and that i was the only one he wanted. It was really sweet and heartfelt and just made me realise how much i love him ......awwwwwww lol.

Me and the hubby are getting on great at the same time though so all is good and well there, he is going away next week for 2 weeks, but in that time im going back to uk for a little family visit aswell.

Then there is also "scotty"............cant remember if i have mentioned him before but he is the guy who i have known for a while and been chatting to whilst he was deployed in Iraq. Well he is back now and working on the same army base as me and full of offers to do "lunch" which is very very tempting!! He goes on leave today til the day i go away for a week but he is there and willing if i want him ..............i love to have a good man at my disposal!!

The other ones that are floating about just now are pretty insignificant and other than a few dirty text msgs and photos nothing really to report on.............

also just ordered a new car, exiting stuff!! Just the same as what we have now but a different colour and a 09 plate instead of the 08 plate we have.................which is usual practice in germany!! I tried to convince hubby to get something with a smaller engine rather than the 2.5 ST we have .............as it literally drinks fuel for fun and can get through 50 litres of fuel for about 220miles!!...........no chance on swapping tho lol. Still i do like to cruise the autobahns at about 130mph so a fast car is often required lol............obviously that doesnt help on the fuel consumption tho!

Right best get back to work.......but i promise i will update more tomorrow as im the only one in my office this weel

TashTash x

Ping ...............Nothing like the sound of an email or msg being recieved!!

"evening....where have you been hiding for the past few days, Ive missed you" was the message I recieved from Scotty. I hadnt been hiding anywhere just in reality we had simply missed each other for the past few days. With him being deployed on tour, comms can be either full on or fairly quiet.
"Switch on your cam and show me how sexy your looking tonight" he asked..........so on I switched my cam on and he switched on his, no matter how many times I see a man in combats I still love it .........he was looking all rough and rugged and explained how he had just come in off ops .....why does the element of danger suddenly make him even more sexy??
He was full of compliments and told me how much he had been thinkin of me how gorgeous me and my body was and how he cant wait to get his hands on me when he gets back. After a few mins of sexy chat he had something to show me.........

As he eased his hard cock out of his combats I let out a small gasp and felt myself get wet instantly. I stood back and fixed the laptop so he could get a full view of my body and slowly stripped off to reveal a sexy pink and black basque completed with a tiny thong and pink lace topped stockings......I then asked him what he wanted me to do next and he replyed that he wanted me to recline on the sofa with the laptop in the footrest in between my legs, and show him exactly what I liked. So as he asked I did so and got the cam aimed right in between my legs but still with a view of my boobs and tummy.
I stroked and rubbed my pussy through the soft fabric feeling myself getting wetter and wetter, before pulling them to the side and slipping a two fingers deep inside sliding them in and out and gently thrusting down.
On the screen I could see scottys stroking his hard cock - oh how much I wish that was inside me!! I fixed my underwear back into place to play with my boobs licking and biting my hard nipples .............running my hands all over my body as if i was exploring it for the first time.
Scotty then messaged to say he couldnt hold back for much longer and to show him me fucking myself until I came ..........so I slid 2 fingers back inside with one hand and rubbed my clit hard and fast with the other...............knowing I was being watched made me feel sooo naughty, such a bad girl, it wasnt long before I came hard and fast shortly after scotty...........he liked what he saw and it made him even more exited about getting back from Iraq and into bed with me (just call me Mrs Moral hehe)

on the Bill front...........things are pretty quiet, he is away and is fairly busy so we are restricted to a few texts a day

Andy ...........Things are pretty quiet there, but i know that makes no difference. We can go weeks without any comms without it changing any needs, wants or desires!

Sian...............still cant stop looking at her in a way that i know i shouldnt!! This is only made worse by her telling me she had a dream the other night that was max* fantasy (quick catch up, max is a guy she is having an affair with, who asked her to ask me if i was up for a 3some as it was his ultimate fantasy) and giving me that look asif to say "uh huh, you know what i mean" I kinda blushed and looked away. We were sat at our desks in work which face each other!

Well im having a very famous sex toys party on saturday night and then the girls are going into town. Usually a group of girls will stay over and at least 3 will be in my supersized bed! BUT it looks like that on saturday its just me and Sian! This is where the test lies! We will see then for sure what and if may happen!!

and last but no means least my sexy hubby, who despite all the rest of the stuff goin on in my life i feel madly deeply in love with...........which is just the most wonderful feeling ever! He has been home a few times in the last week or so and each time has made me feel amazing. This is probably down to the fact i feel soooo sex deprived but he hits the spot everytime! And i just cant get enough of him in the few hours at a time we have each other!

Well thats about all i have to fill you in with just now................so for now i look forward to my party on saturday where i get to look and touch all the new vibrators and choose my newest friend and also pick something out for a special treat for the lucky ppl in my life ...........not that there is much choice for my 30G boobs, but there is a few to choose from! I have already been informed that red and black is the sexiest combination ever tho .....lol and not forgetting the much longed for stripper pole that i will most definetly be investing in...... for fitness purposes only.... obviously!!

I havent been blogging as much as i would like to recently which leaves big gaps in my life story but ill try to have a quick update...

Things with Bill are pretty much the same as before, still head over heals........still daily comms.......but no visits since the last time and with him being sooo busy it doesnt look like the next meeting will be until september! which is traumatising BUT im sure it will be worth the wait!!

...........Then there is Andy.....oh with the body of a god!! I went to school with him and we were "boyfriend & girlfriend" when we were about 13..... The comms have been increased of late and he has expressed his desire for me.....apparently "its always been me" and since our last purely platonic meeting im all he can thing about! We've arranged that my next trip to godsland I will pass by the city for a night of pleasure, with no expenses spared and I cant wait......ive seen the goods on offer and I like what I see. Even the thought of his hard cock and his toned abs are enough to make me wet and beggin to be fucked!!
..............Then there is Scotty....a guy i have met once before and had a thing for since, he is currently deployed on tour, but regularly gives me a peek at what is concealed under those desert combats and telling me exactly what he wants me to do to him when he gets home...... he is based in the same barracks as I work so im almost 100% sure that it will prove to be some worth while lunch time action!!
and last but by no means least is D..........the guy who a friend had an affair with before they were caught and he was shipped out. With him there is a huge element of danger......he enjoys to tell me stories of when him and my friend have fanatasized of me joining them in their sexual explorations and exactly what him and P want to do to me......He is also now based in the city and is near enough a deffo goer.......Tonight my friend asked me what i thought of group sex and the likes so im pretty sure she could possibly be there aswell.

BUT ..............then there is my boss Sian...........she has also quickly become one of my best friends and in the recent few weeks have shared a bed 3 times, nothing has happend but the desire is very much there.......she tells me she has never been with a woman and how much she is intregued by what it would be like. If we didnt work so closely together i would of made a move by now. The guy she is having an affair with asked her if i was Bi then suggested to her i join them for a 3some. - This is one thing i have fantasized about ALOT .....but would never do as i know how much she cares for this guy max. On friday night whenb we were alone in bed i had to hide the urges to slide my hand up her back, clear her hair out the way and gently lick, nibble and kiss her neck the way that i know feels oh so nice............I make myself stop there but i do want her oh so badly!

I need a good fuck soooo bad!! and im not sure how much longer i can remain faithful.......or straight, two of my new years resolutions, but were already in march so im 2 months outta 12 down!!

x

OMG its been so long im not even sure where to start!!

Were in our new house now and were fairly settled, i got a job transfer which is fab! totally happy with my work situation at the moment.

Things in the office are fairly good, the 2 other girls i share the office with are really nice and we have all become good friends................theyre both having affairs too lol so we have common ground!

Things with Bill are still pretty much the same, im head over heals with him and no matter how hard i try to just forget him it doesnt happen! I went to Uk at the begining of last month. The plan was to end it with him but that never happened!!

As soon as i walked through the arrival doors at the airport i spotted him! I hurried over to him and dropped my bag as he scooped me up into a tight embrace........it was like a scene in a movie lol the whole way to the hotel in the car i couldnt stop touching him, stroking his hair, touching his leg anything i just wanted him!
as soon as the room door of the hotel was closed he pulled me to a full on passionate kiss......god how much i missed him! He went over to the bed where he pulled out champagne n poured me a glass instructing me to come n join him, we sat talking and enjoying the fizzy bubbles which were going straight to my head, i couldnt take my eyes off him couldnt believe we were in the same room! how much i had missed him! I told him i wanted to fuck him n didnt want to wait, but he told me to wait we had all weekend, we soon drained the bottle n opened another...........he had brought my favourite veuve cliquot n everything lol
just to picture the scene imagine a massive four poster bed - red n gold bedding, covered in red rose pettels, music playin softly champagne chilled on the side a soft light from the candles he had lit and put on the dressing table which were softly reflected in the mirror
Before long we were laying on the bed just having a cuddle when we started kissing soft n slow we worked his way all over my body stripping me of my clothes to reveal a fabulous black n creme lace set, which if i do say so myself i looked amazing in!
he worked his way down my body before he started sucking, licking and nibbling my pussy through the lace before pulling them to one side and sliding his fingers deep inside me caressing my clit with his mouth, making me arch my back and beg for more i came hard and fast shuddering down onto his face. I then pushed him off me and slid to the end of the bed where i undone his jeans to reveal his hard throbbing cock before sliding it into my mouth, i sucked hard and deep until i felt his warm come fill my mouth.
I then slid back onto the bed, where he peeled my underwear off me and slid into my soaking wet pussy and he made love to me slow and tender full of eye contact and sweet nothings being whispered.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much the same, hot hard passionate sex and slow and sexy love making..................it was all too soon time to leave though and walking into the departure area of the airport i felt my heart break

So since then the contact has been pretty much everyday...........what will happen with this i do not know!

I havent written here in what feels like ages!

I have been back to uk, and what a mess! Dad has moved in with his new girlfriend and her 14 year old daughter and their 4 month old baby! They have bought a puppy and everything so i think he has decided thats where he is staying!

My mum had told him anyway that there was no way on earth she would take him back, but she is traumatised to say the least. She is worried about the mortgage etc etc which my dad said he will continue to pay anyway but for my mum this is still a massive worry.

Things got pretty heated one night and i had a massive fall out with my dad there were tears all round followed by alot of wine to make myself feel better - it didnt work!

Things with Neil are going alright. He was still on the mission to spend as much as humanly possible on drink and enjoying himself until he had a big session at the weekend, and lost the only bank card he had with him! Then someone used £268.20! on the card before i had managed to cancel it!! How annoyed am i! Due to neil not having any bank cards though it has curbed his spending - for now

Things with Bill are fairly quiet - im trying to keep contact to a minimum so as when neil gets back in 4 weeks or so its totally fizzled out. He keeps sending me I love you msgs but im not replying to them so id say it'll be done and dusted soon.

Were also moving 4 weeks today we get our new house then the removals will be done a week later - so its all go here. Its horrible trying to sort everything out by myself though with neil being away! Not that he does much when it comes to moving but its good to have him close to do "the boys jobs" I packed a box of shoes and handbags yesterday that i know i wont wear before the move - might do another box of shoes n bags later as i can pack neils things as he isnt here anyway to wear them!

I also need to start looking for a new job as the commute i was goin to do now seems like a not so good idea! (its over an hour each way in the car) Not sure what i want to do as i know i wont get another job like the one i have now, where i can pretty much come and go as i please and get a decent wage into boot! The good thing about working in germany though is when you move and change jobs, you still in effect work for the same company so i wont lookse my anual bonus' and wont drop any pay steps (you get them after working for so many months n stuff) So thats good i spose.

Im desperate to buy new things for my new house though - which is impossible until i have actually seen the place but its still all exiting! Ill probably go and have a look through the windows at some point soon and may even knock on the neighbours for a look around (this is quite a normal thing to do with army houses lol) And get a better picture. We are only getting a 2 bedroom house though and were hoping for a 3! Still we might use one of the cellar rooms as a spare bedroom and the other one we intend to out a bar in! - then there will be the wash room with the washing machine and tumble dryer. (all german houses have cellars with a minimum of 3 rooms - usully)

right i must go, the local paper with all the jobs should be in the shop now so that is where im heading!

x

Well its only 2 more sleeps until i go back to uk. I have sorted lifts out to and from the airport - checked in online, and sorted everything with work. So looks like im set. Just got to pack my bag and drop the dog off at the dog sitters tomorrow

I will be so glad to be with my mum just now, she seems to be doing well considering but will feel better with the extra bit of support. I have every intension to take her out, get her hair and make up done for a total fresh look and buy her at leat a new outfit - just to rub in my dads face how totally fab my mum actually is!

As for the weight loss another lb lost! down to 8stone 12lbs Feeling really good for it aswell! So goin to buy myself some new clothes make me feel even better!

Im still missing Neil really bad. He does annoy me at the rate he is spending money - just had to transfer more making his total spends in the last 3 weeks £1000!!! I think this is totally shocking and am refusing to give him anymore for at least a week! He doesnt seem to think about getting money out the bank and wasting it on crap! All he keeps telling me though is once he has passed his course he will get more wages anyway! - men!!
I was expecting him to come to see me when im in uk BUT he has tickets to see a football match and doesnt want to waste them cos its a "big match" tut I do wonder about him sometimes!

I have been having regular contact with Bill. I know i really must end it but when i talk to him i get that warm n fuzzy feeling! I really do love him, and i seriously cant imagine my life without him just now. I know i dont have him in a physical way just now, but neither do i have my husband. Bill was on the phone last night and was saying all his usual stuff when he told me that he would never cheat on me - I had never thought he really felt like if he went with someone else it would be cheating! I said to him what you wont cheat on me but you will cheat on your wife. He then told me I love you and i want to be with you, im only with her cos its easier than ruining my kids lives.

I know what you will be thinking! This is a married man, who is saying all these things but is not willing to leave his wife for you! But as Bill has said to me before if he left his wife and i left Neil, so we could be together he would always be thinking that i would go back to neil. :S which is probably true!

Even so with my mum and dad splitting up after being together 27 years it does make me think - Me n Neil have been together 9 years BUT that doesnt say that it will last forever. I could leave neil if i wanted to. A big worry was what my dad would say - but now, he couldnt say a bloody thing.

The main thing thats annoying me is that Neil is refusing to see me when i will be 3 hours away for the sake of a football match! I know if i asked bill he would jump at the chance. Or i could go through to the next big city from my parents when Andy, Greg and Martin live - all of which have offered me a night of pleasure if i want it! All of which are really sexy, and i soooooo would if i wasnt married - fuck who am i kidding, more like if i wasnt trying to behave myself! So why is it when all these men want me does my husband appear not to be overly interested in me?

I am on the brink of Ovulating aswell - which is doin my head in!! Im not used to getting to this point of my monthly cycle and being on my own!! So i have been very horny and very frustrated cos no matter how much self relief i have been doin - it just never seems to be enough! I just need a good hard fuck - preferably from my husband, or Bill or even better both at the same time!! Oh the pleasure they can give me individually - just imagine what they could do together!! lol

Just sitting waiting for My mum to phone, and neil and bill to start texting me as they are both out tonight. (i always get drunken texts from them - they are so alike sometimes lol)

xxx